Analogue alchemy for audiophiles


My assertion that a vinyl LP can sound better than the equivalent CD is not universally accepted. So I thought it worthwhile to quote from a technical explanation that I came across recently as to why analogue records are sonically superior to digital CDs.
'How do you normally hear what is on a record?'...

'Well, I put it on the record-player and switch the record-player on. Is it the electricity that wakes the elementals?'

'No, that's crazy! If that were true nobody would be able to hear music coming out of wind-up gramophones or musical-boxes. You dope, it's obviously the stylus which releases the music! You've got a sapphire sylus, haven't you? Since it's mineral, it will be inhabited by tiny gnomes. The dead sylphs, undines and other elementals on the record are liberated by the gnomes. If only you could see them, you would behold them come floating out of the speaker and circulating in the air before trying to find your ears'.
Source for that wisdom is Robert Irwin's novel Satan Wants Me. The same author's newly published and factually more robust Memoirs of a Dervish is also recommended. Now unlock the sound of vinyl and happy Independence Day to all my American readers.

Also on Facebook and Twitter. Image credit Disc to Disc. Satan Wants Me was bought online and Memoirs of a Dervish was borrowed from Norwich library. Any copyrighted material on these pages is included as "fair use", for the purpose of study, review or critical analysis only, and will be removed at the request of copyright owner(s). Report broken links, missing images and errors to - overgrownpath at hotmail dot co dot uk

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